A Simple Act Can Make a Big Difference: Mental Health Awareness

A Simple Question Can Make a Big Difference

“You alright, mate?”

It must be one of the most common questions asked in construction. We say it when somebody arrives on site, when we pass in a corridor, when we make a brew or when we see somebody we have not spoken to for a while.

Most of the time, the answer comes back just as quickly.

“Yeah, mate. You?”

Neither person has necessarily lied. We have simply turned a question about how somebody is feeling into another way of saying hello. It is familiar, polite and automatic. The problem comes when we assume that the automatic answer tells us everything we need to know.

Sometimes the person saying “Yeah, mate” has had no sleep. They may be worried about money, struggling at home, feeling overwhelmed by work or carrying thoughts they do not know how to explain. They might want somebody to notice while also hoping nobody asks. That contradiction is more common than people realise.

The latest NHS England Adult Psychiatric Morbidity Survey found that one in five adults in England had a common mental health condition in the past week during 2023/24. The older figure of one in six, which appeared in the original version of this article, no longer reflects the latest national evidence.

That updated figure gives us a sense of scale, but a statistic will never tell us which person beside us is struggling. People do not arrive wearing a label that says anxiety, depression, grief, debt or relationship breakdown. Many continue turning up, completing jobs and making everybody else laugh.

That is why a simple check-in matters. The question may take only a few seconds, although the care behind it needs to last longer than the words.

Why “How Are You?” Can Be Difficult to Answer

When somebody asks how we are, most of us make a quick calculation before answering. Is this person genuinely asking? Is there time for an honest response? Will what I say remain private? Am I going to be treated differently afterwards? Could this affect my work?

In construction, those questions can carry real weight. A self-employed worker may worry that admitting they are struggling will make them seem unreliable. An apprentice may fear becoming the joke of the site. A supervisor may believe they cannot be honest because the team expects them to remain in control. Somebody on a short-term contract may feel completely replaceable.

I understand the instinct to hide what is happening. There were periods of my own life when I was dealing with anxiety, OCD, ADHD and suicidal thoughts while still getting on with work. I could turn up as an electrician, complete the job and appear capable. What people saw on the outside did not always match what was happening inside me.

I was not waiting for somebody to deliver a perfect speech. I needed to feel safe enough to be honest.

That safety is built through more than one question. It comes from the way we treat people on ordinary days, how we respond when they make mistakes and whether we turn somebody else’s vulnerability into gossip. A manager cannot humiliate workers all week and expect them to open up because a mental health poster has appeared in the canteen.

Before asking somebody how they are, consider what your behaviour has already told them about how you will handle the answer.

Make the Question Feel Genuine

A meaningful check-in does not have to sound formal. In fact, a sudden “mental health conversation” can make somebody feel as though they are being assessed. Simple and natural usually works better.

The setting matters. Asking in front of the whole team, while walking away or five seconds before a meeting begins tells the other person there is very little room to answer. A quieter moment in the van, during a break or while walking side by side can feel less intense. Some people find it easier to talk without direct eye contact, particularly when the subject is personal.

It can also help to explain why you are asking. Instead of repeating “Are you sure?” without context, mention the change you have noticed. You might say, “You seem quieter than usual this week. How are things?” or “You’ve had a lot on lately. How are you coping with it?”

This shows that the question is based on care rather than curiosity. It also gives the person somewhere to begin. “How are you?” can feel enormous when everything is tangled together. A more specific question may help them talk about sleep, workload, home or the thing that has changed.

Tone matters as much as wording. If the question sounds rushed or uncomfortable, the person may protect you from the answer. Make it clear that you have time, even if that means arranging a better moment later. “I want to hear you properly. Can we grab a coffee at break?” is more honest than starting a conversation you have no time to finish.

The Second Question Often Matters More

The first response may still be “I’m fine.” That does not mean the check-in has failed.

People often test the safety of a conversation slowly. They may need to see whether you remain present after the automatic answer. A gentle second question can show that you meant what you asked.

It could be as straightforward as, “How are you really doing?” or “You don’t seem yourself. Do you want to talk about anything?” The aim is to offer another opening without cornering them.

There is a difference between showing care and demanding disclosure. Nobody owes us their private story because we noticed something. If they do not want to talk, we can respect that while leaving the door open: “No pressure, mate. I’m here if that changes.”

That sentence may not produce an immediate conversation. It can still matter. The person now knows that somebody has noticed and that there is a possible place to return.

We should also remember that we may not be the person they choose. They might feel more comfortable with a colleague, partner, GP, counsellor or somebody outside work. Support means helping them find a safe route, even when that route is not through us.

Listening Without Trying to Fix Everything

Many people avoid checking in because they are worried about what happens next. What if the person says they are not okay? What if we do not know what to say?

You do not need to be a therapist to listen. You do not need to solve their finances, repair their relationship or remove every source of stress. You need to take them seriously and allow them to speak without making the moment about your discomfort.

The NHS guidance on helping somebody with their mental health recommends open questions, listening without judgement and avoiding pressure. It also reminds us that practical support can be useful and that the person checking in needs to look after their own wellbeing too.

Good listening can feel surprisingly quiet. Let the person finish. Do not rush to fill every pause. Reflecting back what you have heard can help: “It sounds like the pressure has been building for a while,” or “I can see why that has left you exhausted.” You are showing that their words landed.

Try not to reduce their experience with phrases such as “Everyone gets stressed,” “At least you’ve got a job” or “It could be worse.” Those responses may be intended to offer perspective, but they often tell somebody that their feelings are too much or not serious enough.

Advice can wait. Before offering solutions, ask what they need. “Would it help to think through some options, or do you just need me to listen?” gives the person some control over the conversation.

Sometimes practical help is more useful than another encouraging sentence. A manager may be able to adjust a deadline, clarify priorities or arrange cover. A colleague may sit with somebody while they make a call. A friend may check in again that evening. The right action depends on the person, which is why asking is better than assuming.

Follow-Up Is What Makes the First Question Believable

A powerful conversation can lose its meaning if we never mention it again.

When somebody shares something difficult, they may spend the next few hours wondering whether they said too much. They may feel exposed or embarrassed, especially if opening up is unfamiliar. A follow-up helps reassure them that the conversation has not changed how you see them.

It does not need to be dramatic. A message the next day saying, “Just checking how you’re getting on after our chat,” can be enough. If they mentioned a specific appointment, deadline or difficult weekend, remember it and ask afterwards.

Confidentiality matters here. If somebody trusts you with personal information, do not turn it into a site discussion. There are situations where immediate safety or safeguarding concerns mean information cannot remain entirely private, but be honest about that and involve the person wherever possible. Careless gossip can close the door for them and for everybody who watches what happens next.

Consistency creates trust. One conversation may offer relief, while repeated moments of ordinary human contact create a relationship in which honesty becomes easier.

A Check-In Cannot Replace Better Working Conditions

Mental health awareness sometimes becomes too focused on encouraging workers to talk. Speaking matters, but we also need to ask what happens after somebody tells us the job is affecting them.

If several workers describe impossible deadlines, constant changes, understaffing or poor treatment, the answer cannot always be another wellbeing talk. Their experiences may be pointing towards a problem in how the work is planned and led.

The Health and Safety Executive says conversations about stress should become part of routine health and safety management. Its Talking Toolkit helps managers discuss demands, control, support, relationships, role and change. Importantly, HSE makes clear that the toolkit should not be an employer’s only response when work-related stress is already a problem.

That distinction is essential. Asking “How are you?” and then ignoring an unrealistic workload teaches workers that the question was for appearance. Listening creates a responsibility to consider what can reasonably change.

Leaders do not need to agree with every request, and some pressures cannot be removed entirely. They can explain decisions, involve people earlier, make expectations clearer and act on avoidable problems. A workforce is more likely to speak honestly when previous conversations have led to visible action.

This is the approach behind Onward Shift’s support for construction companies. Keynote talks, toolbox talks and workplace wellbeing support can open conversations, while the wider work needs to include leadership, trust and practical follow-through. Awareness is a starting point, not proof that the job is done.

When the Conversation Is More Serious

Sometimes a check-in reveals that somebody is in significant distress or thinking about suicide. This can feel frightening, particularly if you have never had that conversation before.

If you are seriously concerned, it is okay to ask directly: “Are you thinking about suicide?” Asking the question does not plant the idea in somebody’s mind. It gives them permission to answer clearly and helps you understand the seriousness of the situation.

Stay calm, listen and take what they say seriously. Do not promise complete secrecy if their life may be at risk. If they or somebody else is in immediate danger, call 999 or go to A&E. If urgent mental health help is needed but it is not an emergency, NHS urgent mental health support is available through NHS 111 online or by calling 111 and selecting the mental health option.

You are not expected to manage a crisis alone. Stay with the person where possible, involve appropriate support and remember that you may need space to process the conversation afterwards too.

Creating More Places to Talk

Not everybody will open up at work. Some people need a setting where they are not an employee, supervisor or subcontractor and where the conversation does not feel connected to performance.

That is one reason Onward Shift provides different ways into support. Through our support for people in construction, individuals can explore coaching, counselling, events and community connection. Our free mental health resources include blogs, podcasts and newsletters for people who may prefer to begin privately by listening or reading.

We also host Walk and Talks because sitting face to face is not comfortable for everybody. Walking beside somebody can reduce the pressure and allow conversation to develop naturally. Sometimes people talk about mental health. Sometimes they talk about work, football, family or the weather. Connection does not have to begin with somebody sharing the most painful part of their life.

The aim is to create enough routes that people can enter in a way that feels manageable. A colleague’s check-in may be the first route. A podcast may be another. Counselling may become the right next step. There is no single conversation that works for everybody.

Ask the Question and Stay for the Answer

A simple act can make a big difference, but the difference is rarely created by the words alone.

It comes from noticing that somebody has changed. It comes from choosing a private moment, asking with care and staying present when the answer is uncomfortable. It comes from respecting a person who is not ready to talk and checking again another day. It comes from listening without judgement and helping them reach further support when that is what they need.

Most of us cannot change another person’s whole situation. We can create one moment in which they feel less invisible.

So, this week, think of somebody you have not properly checked in with for a while. Ask how they are, and make sure your body language, your time and your response all show that you genuinely want to know.

Three familiar words can open the door.

What matters is whether we are prepared to remain there when somebody decides to walk through it.