Breaking Barriers: Mental Health, Coaching and Changing Times!

The first time I told my mum that I needed help with my mental health, I was 24.

I had spent a long time trying to manage everything on my own. From the outside, I was working, getting on with life and doing what was expected of me. Inside, things were very different. Reaching the point where I could say that I needed support took more courage than I realised at the time.

My mum’s first reaction was shock. She was worried, confused and unsure what seeking help actually meant. That reaction could easily have felt like rejection, but it was more complicated than that. She loved me. She simply came from a generation and a background where mental health was rarely discussed and therapy was poorly understood.

The language she had grown up with was familiar to many families: keep going, be grateful, do what needs to be done and do not make a fuss. Difficult feelings were often dealt with privately, if they were dealt with at all. People carried grief, anxiety, trauma and exhaustion without necessarily having words for them.

Today, my mum and I can have deep and honest conversations about mental health. That change did not happen through one dramatic moment. It happened gradually, through patience, learning and repeated conversations. She began to understand my experience, and I began to understand the experiences that had shaped her.

That journey taught me something important. People can change. Families can change. Workplaces and industries can change too, but only when we create room for people to learn without humiliating them for what they did not previously understand.

Mental Health Was Always There, Even When We Did Not Name It

It is easy to look back and say that people did not talk about mental health years ago. The truth is that mental health was always part of life. Anxiety still existed. Depression still existed. People still experienced trauma, loneliness, addiction, grief and burnout. What was missing was often the language, recognition and permission to speak.

In many homes, distress was described in practical terms. Someone was tired, under pressure, going through a bad patch or simply not themselves. In some families, care was expressed through food, work, protection and sacrifice rather than emotional conversation. That care was real, even when the words were absent.

This matters because we can acknowledge the damage caused by silence without dismissing an entire generation as uncaring. Many older people were surviving with the tools they had. They may have been taught that talking made a problem bigger, that private matters stayed inside the family or that asking for support showed weakness.

Some of those beliefs have been passed down. I have seen them in families, friendships and workplaces. I have also seen them challenged. A father who never spoke about his emotions can learn to ask his son how he is really doing. A manager who once told people to crack on can learn to listen. A worker who has hidden his struggles for years can decide that the pattern stops with him.

Changing the conversation does not require us to attack where people came from. It requires honesty about what those old habits cost us and a willingness to build something healthier.

Construction Brings Different Generations Together

Construction is one of the clearest places to see these attitudes collide. On the same project, you can have an apprentice who has grown up hearing about anxiety, ADHD and therapy working alongside someone who entered the trade when none of those subjects were mentioned on site.

The younger worker may have more language for what they are experiencing. The older worker may have decades of practical knowledge, resilience and perspective. Both can learn from each other, but the conversation can quickly break down if either side feels judged.

Someone who says, “We never had mental health in my day,” may actually mean, “We did not call it that, and I do not know how to talk about it.” Someone who says, “The older generation does not understand,” may be expressing genuine frustration after being dismissed. There is truth and pain on both sides.

The aim should be to make it safer for people to be honest. That means moving beyond labels such as weak, soft, dramatic or old-fashioned. It means becoming curious enough to ask what sits underneath a reaction.

Construction has always depended on people passing knowledge down. Experienced workers teach newer workers how to read a situation, spot a problem and avoid mistakes that are not written in a manual. Mental health can be approached with the same spirit. We can pass down hard-earned wisdom while also being open to better ways of working and communicating.

Attitudes Are Changing, but Stigma Has Not Disappeared

We have made progress. Therapy is discussed more openly. Public figures share their experiences. Mental health appears in workplace policies, training sessions and everyday conversations in ways that would have been unusual a generation ago.

Yet greater visibility does not automatically make asking for help easy. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy’s 2026 research found that 37% of people had experienced counselling or psychotherapy at some point. That suggests therapy has become more familiar, while the same research still points to a gap in attitudes: nearly a third of men viewed therapy as self-indulgent unless the problem was serious.

The previous year’s BACP survey on men’s attitudes to therapy found that 47% of men believed there was stigma attached to counselling or psychotherapy. Fewer than three in ten men had attended therapy, yet among the men who had, 73% said it was helpful and 76% would recommend it to someone experiencing emotional difficulties or a mental health problem.

That gap tells us a great deal. The idea of therapy can feel threatening before someone enters the room. Once many men experience a professional, confidential conversation for themselves, their view changes.

I understand that gap because I lived it. Before therapy, I carried assumptions about what asking for help meant. Once I experienced it, I saw something entirely different. Therapy gave me space to be honest, understand myself and work through things I had kept inside. It changed the direction of my life.

Progress also needs perspective. Having the language to describe every feeling is useful, but it does not mean every difficult day is a mental illness. Stress, sadness, anger and disappointment are part of being human. Sometimes they pass with rest, support or a change in circumstances. At other times, they become persistent, overwhelming or begin to affect sleep, relationships, safety and daily life. The goal is not to diagnose every emotion. It is to notice what is happening and make support easier to reach when it is needed.

Asking for Help Is Personal

We often say that asking for help is a sign of strength. I believe there is courage in it, especially when someone has spent years being told to keep quiet. However, the phrase can become another slogan if we ignore what makes that first step difficult.

People worry about confidentiality. They fear being treated differently at work. They may not know whether counselling, coaching or another form of support is right for them. Cost, waiting times, cultural expectations and previous bad experiences can all create barriers. Some people do not yet have the words to explain what is happening.

Someone who has not asked for help is not weak. They may be scared, uncertain or trying to protect their job and family in the only way they know. Our responsibility is to reduce those barriers and respond well when they do speak.

That response matters. If a worker says they are struggling and hears, “Everyone is stressed,” they may never raise it again. If they are listened to, taken seriously and offered a clear next step, that same conversation can become the beginning of change.

This is why awareness campaigns have limits. Encouraging people to open up carries a responsibility to provide somewhere safe for the conversation to go. A manager does not need to become a therapist, but they should know how to listen, protect confidentiality appropriately and connect someone with suitable support. They should also be prepared to look at the working conditions contributing to the problem.

Coaching and Counselling Are Not the Same Thing

One weakness in the way we sometimes talk about wellbeing is that coaching, counselling and therapy are grouped together as though they do the same job. They can all be valuable, and some people benefit from more than one at different stages, but the distinction matters.

Coaching is generally practical and forward-looking. It can help someone clarify a goal, understand what is getting in the way and create manageable actions. In construction, that might involve stepping into a leadership role, rebuilding confidence after a setback, managing a career change, creating better routines or finding strategies that work with a neurodivergent brain.

A coach can ask useful questions, offer accountability and help a person see choices they had missed. Good coaching does not tell people how to live. It creates a focused space in which they can think, decide and act with greater clarity.

Counselling provides a different kind of space. It may be more appropriate when someone is living with emotional distress, grief, anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, trauma or experiences from the past that continue to affect the present. The NHS description of counselling explains it as a talking therapy in which a trained counsellor listens and helps a person find ways to deal with emotional issues.

There can be overlap. A coaching conversation may touch on emotions, and counselling can support someone to make changes in their life. The important question is what the person needs and whether the practitioner is qualified to provide it.

Coaching should never be sold as treatment for a mental health condition. A responsible coach understands the boundaries of their role and recognises when counselling, medical advice or another specialist service is more appropriate. The client should never be made to feel that they have failed at coaching because they need a different kind of support.

Onward Shift has a fuller guide to the differences between coaching and counselling for anyone unsure where to begin.

What Good Coaching Can Change

Used for the right reasons, coaching can make a meaningful difference to wellbeing. It can help someone turn a mass of thoughts into a clear next step. That matters when work, money, family and responsibility all seem to be competing for attention.

A construction worker preparing to become a supervisor may be technically excellent but uncertain about leading former workmates. A business owner may know their trade inside out but feel overwhelmed by decisions, boundaries and the pressure of being responsible for other people’s livelihoods. A neurodivergent professional may understand what they want to achieve but struggle to create systems that suit the way they think.

These are areas where coaching can be useful. The process can help a person separate what they can control from what they cannot, set realistic goals and experiment with approaches that fit their life. Progress might look like having a difficult conversation earlier, delegating a task, creating a workable weekly routine or making a career decision that has been avoided for months.

These changes can relieve pressure and improve confidence, but they should not be exaggerated into promises of curing anxiety or depression. Ethical support is honest about what it can and cannot do.

Mental Health Support Must Be More Than a Conversation

Individual support matters, but we should be careful not to place the whole responsibility on the individual. A worker cannot coach their way out of an unsafe culture, impossible workload or manager who humiliates them. Counselling may help someone cope with the effects of a harmful workplace, but it does not remove the employer’s duty to address the cause.

In construction, conversations about resilience can become dangerous when they are used to help people tolerate conditions that should change. Sometimes the right outcome is a stronger coping strategy. Sometimes it is a revised programme, clearer communication, proper rest, a reasonable adjustment or action against bullying.

Leaders set the conditions in which people decide whether it is safe to speak. If someone raises a concern and nothing changes, the message travels quickly around a site. If leaders listen, follow up and deal with problems fairly, trust grows.

This is also where generational change becomes practical. A company does not need everyone to use the same language or share the same personal story. It needs clear standards of respect, routes to confidential support and managers who understand the limits of their role. It also needs to accept that wellbeing is affected by how work is designed and how people are treated.

Where Onward Shift Fits

Onward Shift grew from my own experience of construction and mental health. I know what it feels like to work in an environment where the practical job takes priority and emotional struggles remain hidden. I also know the difference the right conversation and the right professional support can make.

Our role today is broader and clearer than it was when I first wrote this article. Through support for people, individuals can explore coaching, counselling, Walk & Talks, events and free content created with the construction community in mind. Our coaching focuses on practical progress, confidence, pressure and direction. Our counselling service connects people with BACP counsellors who offer confidential professional support through approaches including integrative, person-centred and relationship counselling.

We also work with construction companies through speakers, toolbox talks and workplace wellbeing support. For colleges and training settings, our support for education is designed to help healthier conversations begin before young people enter the industry.

These different routes exist because one answer will never suit everyone. Some people want a private session. Some find it easier to talk while walking. Some first connect with a story in a podcast or at an event. Others need their employer or college to create the opening.

The purpose remains simple: help people find a way forward that fits what they are actually facing.

Change Can Start With One Honest Conversation

When I think back to speaking with my mum at 24, I do not see a perfect conversation. I see two people trying to understand something for which we did not yet share the same language.

Her first reaction did not define every conversation that followed. My fear did not stop me from seeking help. Over time, both of us learned. That is what gives me hope when I look at construction.

We will not change decades of silence with a single awareness day, training session or social media post. We can change what happens in the next conversation. We can ask one more question before making a judgement. We can listen without rushing to fix. We can explain the difference between coaching and counselling honestly. Employers can act on the pressures people raise instead of simply thanking them for speaking.

Most importantly, we can make room for people to change their minds. Someone who dismisses therapy today may understand it differently after hearing a mate’s experience. A manager who feels awkward discussing mental health can learn to handle the conversation with care. A parent who once felt frightened by the idea of counselling can become the person who encourages their child to get support.

I have seen that change in my own family. I have experienced it in my own life, and I see signs of it across the industry.

There is still a long way to go. The barriers are real, and talking alone will not remove them. Yet every time we replace judgement with curiosity and point someone towards the right support, we make the next conversation easier.

That is how attitudes change: gradually, honestly and between people who are willing to keep listening.

At Onward Shift, that is the work we want to keep doing with individuals, companies, colleges and the wider construction community. One conversation may not solve everything, but it can be where something finally begins to move.